


;;my yellow cardigan turns red;;

by orphan_account



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: 1-800-273-8255, Attempted Suicide, First Fanfiction, Help, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I'm Sorry, I'm sick and I wanna die, Inspired by Music, Might be Suicide, Multi, Out of Character, Please Don't Kill Me, Please Kill Me, Probably gonna end up deleting this, Tags Are Fun, Trans Characters, Wait nevermind, hhh I hate this lmao., we'll see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 16:15:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15934004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Uhh. I honestly dont know how to use this lmao so bear with me.Based off of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMS_smJUfXY and https://archiveofourown.org/works/14282634It's my first legit fanfiction so it's gonna be as crappy as the sewers. oof.I hate it already lmao-





	;;my yellow cardigan turns red;;

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Short Boy in The Red Flannel and Dyed Hair](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14282634) by [pastelbluebirds](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelbluebirds/pseuds/pastelbluebirds). 



> Honestly? I'm probably insane because I'm writing this. I have crazy anxiety so I'll probably end up deleting it. if I don't.. then hey I guess?
> 
> Inspired by: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMS_smJUfXY, and, https://archiveofourown.org/works/14282634  
> I probably have brain damage, bear with me.  
> God damn I hate what I wrote lmaoo-

* * *

rich pov

* * *

 

I approach the door, opening it, my heart gradually racing more and more every step I took. I opened the door. But someone was here before me. A tall figure trying to jump off the rooftop.

I was pissed, and..- Before I even try to do anything, the door creaks and the figure quickly turns around on edge. His face instantly turns to confusion and fright.

What in actual hell? Why is he here?

"What the fuck are you doing here, Jake?" I stared at him, he let out a cold laugh and slowly responded.

"I don't know, what are you doing here Rich? It's just the fact that I don't know, I got broke up with by Christine? And you know, I thought she was actually gonna be the god damn one.. but who would want to deal with me?" Before I even know what I'm doing. I start screaming.

 

"Are you fucking serious, Jake Dillinger? That's just sad that you're going to give up EVERYTHING because of one person. You're upset because you didn't get  **one**  thing you wanted? You're just going to give up because of one god damn person? Grow up, Jake. There's people like me."

"People that lost more than you've ever lost, had less than you. People like that didnt even have a place that they would call '''HOME'''."   I stand up and stare at him, trying my hardest to not cry.

"Please, don't do it, Jake. There's people that love you, people like me that will miss you.." I choke on the last words.

He slowly got off of the fence, wordless. And then he let out a genuine laugh and walked past me, silently looking back at me and then.

"..Thanks Rich."

"No problem... Cowboy."

He slowly fades out of my vision. I sigh and start to leave also. 

* * *

* * *

 

* * *

The next day came, My heart beat gradually getting higher every step I took up the stairs, today was the day. I open the door as quickly as I can, I just want to get it over with as fast as I can. But someone was here before me. I stare at the next person, quickly identifying it as Jeremy Heere.

I'm pissed yet again but..

"What are you doing here, Tallass?" I cant catch myself.

He quickly turns to face me.

The next things happen in a blur, as I start screaming at him yet again.

"For god's sakes Jeremy! Are you serious? You're lucky if you think about it, because you're still loved by your god damn family, they love you back home, Michael still wants to be friends with you. But you have to be so god damn selfish don't you? You have to give up your life even with all the friends you have. You have to make them feel like shit instead of telling anyone how you feel. Does that make you happy or some sick shit?" I stand up yet again, and I let out a few angry tears.

Jeremy slowly backs off of the railing and leaves without a word.

* * *

* * *

Today was the day, or so I thought. My heartbeat is faster than ever as I burst open the door.

It was Brooke, feeling insecure. I talked to her.

..

The next day it was Chloe, the once bitchy and confident girl.

I talked to her, but I know no one would ever do this for me.

...

Jenna felt bad for what she said about others.

I talked to her like the others, even though I know she wouldn't help me.

.. Then it was Christine. Thinking that they only cared about her because of play rehearsal.

I talked to her more gently than the others.

Things like "You shouldn't do this, there's people that love you for other reasons."

 

 

But I would never believe something like that directed to me.

* * *

* * *

I step up the stairs, I think everyone's been done. But I was wrong.

..But someone was here before I was. It was the antisocial headphones kid. He was rocking in a ball right next to the railing. before I know what I'm doing. I call out his name.

"Michael? What are you doing here? Why are you here?..-"

Slowly he looked at me and responded, sniffling,

"I just wanna stop the scars that grow, everytime that I think about the party, that's why I came up here to jump instead." That's what the boy in the red hoodie said.

I cant help him, he has the same damage as I do. I took too much, I got too cocky, and I couldn't do anything but stay there silent as he climbed over the railing. But then I let out another desperate grasp.

"Don't do it.. Please."

He turns around to me quickly, causing him to fall. all I hear is a scream, but he grabbed on again, hesitantly hanging.

"Michael I can't- do anything to help you. But you cant give up on the others just because of what you want to do."

He climbs back up the rails and walks over to me.

"I guess today's not my day." he walks past me and laughs coldly.

* * *

* * *

 

I step up the stairs, no one is here, no ones here to stop me. My heart beat goes faster as I get over to the railing. It's finally my turn and I won't let anything get in my way. I don't even care about the slow steps up the stairs.

I take off my yellow cardigan which by now has turned red with blood. I take a deep breath, I cant stop myself anymore. I cant convince myself to not do it. I don't hear the creak of the door as its banged open.

I look behind me and panickedly see everyone.

I stumble and I fall, and yet, there's a tranquility in falling. I close my eyes feeling more relaxed than I've ever been. And then-

* * *

* * *

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> evil cliffhanger laughter  
> that was trash and it took me 3 hours to write because of my super-anxiety and i'll probably delete it wow thanks anxiety.  
> anxiety is the bitch of all bitches right now and i'm super sick so I rushed it and now Im gonna go sleep or something because my eyes feel like they're going to explode if I get anymore screen time


End file.
